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Deal with the Light

Le 25 novembre 2016, 19:22 dans Humeurs 0

And at some point of the journey, you will meet some people, some really good people. What can I call them but "light"? precious light.

They talk to you, they look at you, they touch you, they smile at you, they take your tears away and warm you up. And you stand there watching your life get a little more comfortable, a little happier, a little better, a little shinier, a little fantastic... 

You stand there thanking god for such a beautiful tiny piece of heaven, thanking god for bringing those people into your life.

Since de day they stepped into your life, it feels like you got a home, a real one, built of love stones and trust bricks, decorated by deep conversations and honest feelings..

But for someone like you, it feels weird, you haven't been this comfortable for a while; and the last time you were? it broke you into million pieces. 

So you sit and tell yourself that this isn't real, that this is another shining fantasy that will leave you darker than before, and that you aren't the kind of person who gets to enjoy having a home, who gets to have someone by his side.. So you decide this thing isn't right and you step away and try to run from it.

But let me tell you one thing; you aren't some sort of an unfixable cup, and you aren't some sort of a miserable homeless cat. You are something real, thoughtful, brilliant. You are good and you are worthy of all the good things and the good people, so accept challenges, love people, have fun, share your unique soul and give yourself the chance to love and feel loved, the chance to feel warm on the coldest of days, the chance to sleep while looking at the roof and seeing nothing but some perfect stars. It's okay to open up to people and cross the edges of your safe zone, that's how things should be. There would be no rules if people didn't cross limits, there would be no happiness if there wasn't sadness, there would be no light if there wasn't darkness.

So deal with this fact, deal with life, and be strong. Take challenges while knowing you will win anyway, while holding yourself together and being ready for the worst, while loving yourself enough to know that it's okay if all people leave because you have yourself, while believing you are strong enough to deal with any disaster coming. Give your best, but be smart while choosing your best. Love as much as you can, but be aware not to give them all your love and stay empty.

Take the light, enjoy it, learn from it, know how to deal with it and how to deal with its absence.

Be strong, live your life, be free.

I am not myself

Le 21 novembre 2016, 23:44 dans Humeurs 0

Why did you stop writing? People keep asking me this again and again. 

Why did I stop writing? They wonder.. Why did I stop writing? I wonder too..

So I ask myself, I talk to myself, try to understand myself and get to understand the reason I haven't written for a while, is it because I am empty? Or because I don't like writing anymore? Am I running away because I think I am not good enough? Am I too sad and speechless to write? 

I couldn't really get a clear answer for any of those questions, instead, I could understand a fact that could maybe be a real explanation, or maybe not? The fact is; I am not myself..

Yes, I dont feel like myself lately, it's as if I'm standin somewhere taking a break from myself and my life or watching it and discovering new things about it or running away from it or going on a trip to find some good food for myself and my soul.. I don't know, all I know, is, I am not myself.

And probably everyone on this earth experienced, has been experiencing, or will experience this stage where you're somewhere out of your life and you re someone something but yourself.

You will probably feel a little too confused, messed up, or maybe even too lost.

You will only see the bad side of it and all you will think is "here is another mess, now I lost myself".

So if you are reading this, let me tell you one thing; It is okay not to be yourself for a while. It s totally okay. See it as if it is a break, a nap, a meal, a crisis, anything, it all leads to one conclusion, which is that it is all okay. Don't kill your soul, don't scare it, don't panic or feel frightened, it's not another disaster or another mess. It is not another darkness or another death. It's not another pain, or shadow. It's just a period, that all of us need, you need to take a break from yourself for a while, don't you? You wake up every morning and breathe and make so many efforts to live your day and be yourself and protect yourself from the harm that everything around you causes. You do this every single minute of everyday. Don't you think you deserve to reward yourself for all of this? You hold on to your dreams even though the difficulties suffocate you, You survive even though you sometimes see no light or hope, You breathe even when you feel like being dead, You fight even when you're so scared...

So, listen to me, don't panic. You're alright, take a break, take a GOOD break, don't let it harm you or ruin the way things are supposed to be. 

Breathe, not being yourself is okay. It is okay.

BE.

Le 20 septembre 2016, 22:35 dans Humeurs 0

So um today I insisted on hanging out with some friends on an empty school hour that we had.

And to be honest, I don't regret it at all.

They took me to such a flawlessly amaing place with such a stunning view; as I looked at the sky, watched the sun, saw the old huge buildings, stood on an old roof full of beautiful details artistically made that embrace the soul with a sense of beauty, smelling the fresh air of untold stories.. I felt alive.

And trust me, I can not tell you how awesomely precious it is to feel so alive even if it lasts for few seconds; hearing your heart beats sing, seeing your hair fly, feeling your eyes shine, setting your soul free. Isn't that the whole point of life?  of existence? Feeling thse moments, living those times, going to bed with an amount of unforgettable memories..

Life is small pieces of pain and joy, and if you really want to try some pieces of joy, you're going to have to take the pain ones before and after the joy ones. But, screw it, take it all, it's worth the pain.. those moments of joy are worth that unbearable pain! But for those who fear the whole thing, trust me, fear itself is the biggest kind of pain. 

So, take life as it is, let it be. Suffer and live, enjoy and grieve, BE.

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