So I sit here, finished watching a movie; someone's story about having a life.. having adventures, feeling their heart in their chest, fear, joy, mysteries, heartbreaks, running away, revenge..

And I was wondering if I ever got to live, or maybe, will I ever get to live? I am not sure I can say I never had a heart in a chest moments, I had ones, even though I don't remember them clearly, I did.. The thing is there's a point when I started not to have them anymore, when did that happen? why did that happen? how did that happen ? I don't know.. It matters to know what stopped you from enjoying your life, so you can learn not to let it do again, but it also is very important to learn one simple role, not to let anything stop you from living those moments; it doesn't have to be breaking someone's car and running away, it could be, but it could also be reading a great book outloud while jumping laughing and crying like it could also be washing your face and counting the drops on your nose thinking that it could lead to some life answers.. 

If you think you're not living a life, then maybe you are, maybe you're just scared, or tired of what seemed to be a life, or just you haven't thought that you could enjoy things more..

But you know what? leave that shit behind. Whether you forgot to live a life for a month or for years, you still have months in front of you, or weeks, days, maybe hours, or maybe even minutes. What matters is you still have an amount of time even if it's so little, now think about what are the things you'd rather be doing instead of laying in bed and having ugly boring thoughts.. Even if you can't find it at first, search for it, ask yourself, it's somewhere inside of you, waiting for you to find

Once you've found that thing, set it free, get it out, let it run in front of you and chase it 

Chase it with your broken warm heart, your mysterious crazy mind, your messed up power, your flawed shiny smile, chase it, go after it, GO AFTER IT.